Thursday, April 15, 2010

Russia's Decision to Suspend Adoptions

As I am sure many of you have heard, Russia has been mulling over how to react to an adoptive mother sending her child back to Russia simply with a "return to sender" note attached. Russia is now suspending all adoptions to the US until the two countries sign an agreement on the handling of adoptions.

Here is the story on AOL: http://tinyurl.com/yynawdv.

I fully understand why they are angry about this incident. Believe me, we are, too. I also understand that they are not going to just sit on the sidelines and not try to take steps to address this incident, and the future of all Russian children waiting to be adopted. Why the US hasn't already charged this woman with reckless endangerment of a child or something more serious, I haven't got a clue. But even knowing all of this, their decision is a rash overreaction.

While even one incident harming a child is too many, and regardless of how the media sensationalizes it, this is an isolated incident that is NOT the norm. They are punishing hundreds of parents & children, if not more, who are in the middle of getting their children home. Brandon and I met Alina on May 14, 2008 and we were able to see her again for a little bit the next day. We came home and didn't get to see her again until August 27th and the visit was less than 90 minutes. That is 14 weeks and likely the worst 98 days of our lives. Each day was more and more agonizing. We then had to wait another 2 weeks to see her again after the adoption was finalized and we were able to take custody of her. Let me put this in perspective for you. If you gave birth to a child in the hospital, got to spend a few hours with them on the 1st & 2nd day of their lives, and then they said "come back in 3 1/2 months and you can see them for a little bit, then 2 weeks after that you can take them home for good". Not fun AT ALL.

Also during this time was the idea that something, ANYTHING, could go wrong and throw all this off-course. You just never know because you are dealing with a very bureaucratic process in another country. It's simply an unconscionable decision to do this. The other thing to remember here is that no one knows when this will change, so the families who have already met their children may not be able to adopt that child any more if this isn't resolved almost immediately. We would have been emotionally devastated if this happened to us, and I simply cannot fathom how badly these families who are waiting for their children are hurting right now.

I cannot imagine our lives without our baby. She is simply a miracle. There is absolutely no other way to put it. Every day she does something new, or does something funny to make us laugh. There is no better feeling in the world to come home and have her run to me yelling "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" I would give up absolutely anything in my life, or my life itself for her. I can't look at her without thanking God for allowing us to be her parents, and if you see her and don't believe there is a God who directed this to happen than you are delusional. And while the process was inordinately expensive and stressful, we would do it all over again in a split second without thinking about it.

Please write your elected officials to let them know that you support adoptive parents rights, that you believe that Tory Hansen should be punished to the fullest extent of the law, and that you want them to push that the US acts swiftly with Russia to get an agreement in place.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A Letter of Thanks

I am writing this letter today to say thank you to Russia and to Alina’s birth mom. Without her courage and sacrifice, our family would not be the same.

The news from Tennessee is heartbreaking and is only one side of the story. Parenting is not easy nor should it be taken lightly. To be a parent is to love your child unconditionally. Sometimes that is hard to do, most of the time it is easy.

My heart is filled with sorrow for both Tory Hansen and her son Justin (Artyom)– no one but the two of them will ever know why the adoption was not a good fit nor why it ended the way it did. I am not going to speculate on what caused her to think sending her son back to Russia was the best way to handle the situation. I’ll let the experts decide that.

Cases such as the Hansen’s are the exception, not the norm. Our adoption experience has been wonderful. We have had our ups and downs but I feel those are to be expected from anyone trying to keep up with a 3 year old!

It hasn’t always been easy, however Alina is our forever child and Phil and I can’t imagine a life without her. Alina has adjusted well to living in Texas and has become a sweet, funny, smart and charming three-year old. She became a part of our family from the moment we first saw her in Russia.

We are very lucky to have the opportunity to parent our extraordinary daughter Alina. We had great experiences in Moscow as well as at the Baby House in Alatyr and are grateful for the privilege of raising this beautiful little girl.

My hope is for anyone considering adoption not to rule out Russia. We can’t thank Russia enough for the precious gift they gave us as Alina’s parents. She continues to touch the lives of our families and friends daily.

From Texas with love - thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Gotcha Day

Today is the one-year anniversary of the day the Rice family traveled to Russia and picked Alina up from the baby house. Today is the day she became our daughter forever. Today is also the day that Alina “got” us as parents and we began our life as a family

Many families who have adopted call this day “gotcha” day. Many disagree with that terminology and call it something entirely different. To us, September 10 will always be Alina’s “gotcha” day, a day to celebrate as a family. To us, this day will always be the day we “got” Alina from the baby house and started the journey back home. As Alina gets older, I am sure the name of her special day will change but it will continue to be a day of celebrating our family, no matter what it is called.

Little did we know as we traveled to Alatyr just how much our lives would change. As soon as we arrived at the baby house, we saw Alina and she held out her arms to me almost as if she knew she was coming home with us. We had a brief celebration with the staff at the baby house –they were all happy to see Alina go home with us but also a bit sad that she was leaving them. That day was an emotion-filled day for all of us.

This year, with Phil’s crazy travel schedule, we are not going to celebrate Alina’s gotcha day in a big way. She and I will do something special to mark the day. Perhaps next year, we will have a bigger celebration with family and friends. We brought back several items from Russia for Alina that we plan on giving her throughout the years as a way to introduce her to Russia and its culture.

Our journey to Alina, for that is how I think of it, was full of ups and downs and what ifs. It was also full of hope, joy and love. Love for a little girl in a country that neither of us ever thought we would visit. Every day that we spent in Russia meant that we were one day closer to bringing her home forever.

We enjoyed our time in Russia and are looking forward to visiting again. Gladney is arranging a heritage trip next year which would allow us to visit Alina’s baby house again. Even though she won’t fully comprehend the trip to Russia, we can’t wait to take her!

Phil and I have spent the last year thanking God for bringing us Alina. I hope when Alina is older, she will also thank God for bringing us to her. Gotcha day indeed!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Almost a Year

The saying goes “time flies when you are having fun”. Well, let me tell you the time has certainly flown since we brought Alina home from Russia last year!

This year has been anything but ordinary. Alina started a Mother’s Day Out program in January and has done exceptionally well. She has grown so much and gotten so tall – she doesn’t look anything like the baby we brought home in September. Our Russian tsarina has changed so much in a year.

We have celebrated Alina’s first birthday here in Texas, taken her to the circus, on a business trip to Seattle with Phil, had countless play dates with her friends and have enjoyed every crazy minute of it.

I have been thinking a lot about our adoption journey and how when we started, Phil and I didn’t really know what to expect. All we knew for sure was that at some point down the road, we would be the proud parents of a child. Little did we know that we would end up with the sweetest baby tsarina from Russia!!

I think that we were lucky to have adopted Alina when we did, even though we missed some of those firsts. Sleepless nights, bottle feedings, first steps, first teeth, etc. – sure I miss not having those experiences. We have had our own firsts since we brought Alina home –her first words, the first time she said momma, etc. We also had many experiences that not many other families will have.

Alina has learned English quickly and is beginning to talk more and more each day. Every day I am amazed at what she does or what she says – never a dull moment with her! We always seem to get someone who asks us if she speaks Russian and we laugh and say not yet! Perhaps one day she will want to learn Russian and visit where she was born. I hope she does.

Alina loves to look at books and play with puzzles. She has also developed a love for shoes (not quite sure where she got that from, although for those who know me it is only natural). She carries around her favorites – a purple purse, complete with car keys, cell phone and lipstick and her green stuffed frog named Froggie.

Forgive my ramblings – as I have been looking back on the greatest year of my life and thanking God every day for the little girl he gave us. I am not sure if anyone is still reading this – if so, I hope these thoughts make sense. For me, I just felt the need to express some of my feelings about this last year.

We love her so much and are truly blessed that God chose us to be her parents.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The First 100 Days

Since everyone calls attention to the First 100 Days of any incoming President, I thought I would provide an update on what happened during our First 100 Days of being home with Alina.

Pediatrician Visits
Alina has seen her new pediatrician 3 times since being home. The first visit was a couple days after we got back so that doctor could assess her overall health. Generally speaking, she passed with flying colors. One unfortunately incident though was they had to collect a urine sample, so they put this baggie over her little girlie area (trying to be PC here), and we had to wait for her to pee in it. She wasn't being too helpful, so we took her next door to a place where they could collect a blood sample. At this point, the appointment had lasted a while, and I had to go into the office for a meeting, so I left. Well apparently, Alina didn't like getting stuck by the needle, so she preceeded to cry and released all the urine in her little 23 lb. body: some of which the bag caught, the balance of which ended up on Brandon's lap. The second visit was for routine shots, and the third visit was because she had the croup around the holidays. Alina has deemed the pediatrician's office as an unpleasant place given that she always gets a shot when she goes, the poor baby.

Holidays
We've been able to share Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas with Alina, and they were all a lot of fun.

For Halloween, she was a monkey, and greeted everyone that came to the door with a big grin. She was quite a hit! Brandon also took her to a pumpkin patch, and she kept trying to deadlift different pumpkins of varying sizes.

For Thanksgiving, she was a bit on the fussy side given that my side of the family all descended on her territory at our house. But after a nap, she was right as rain and enjoyed some tasty turkey.

For Christmas, is was the DFW tour, as we went to Cleburne 3 times in 1 week to visit Brandon's various relatives, Keller to visit my brothers, and polished off the holiday with Brandon's extended family coming to our house the Saturday after Christmas. All the celebrations were fantastic, and Alina loved each of them (obviously so because she got a lot of attention and was spoiled with presents). We thought she might get a little cranky with her naps being cut short on Christmas Day, but she showed us her extra gear. We got home about 10pm that night after an hour drive from Cleburne, and laughed because she talked/jabbered the whole way home. Well, that is until 5 minutes before we got home and she fell asleep. Sadly, she doesn't make the transfer from car to crib quietly, so when we put her to bed, she talked for another 20 minutes before drifting off.

Growing like a Weed
She has gained about 5 lbs. since coming home, and continues to get taller. She went from 9 month clothes being "just right" on her, to being slightly undersized for most 18 month clothes.

Our Pets
Alina loves our dog Bailey and our cat Rasta, even though they are all still trying to figure out how their relationship is supposed to work.

Bailey is our 3 year old, 70 lb. English Pointer & Hound mix. She does not realize that she is so big, solid, & strong, and believes that she is a lap dog. When standing on all fours, she is slightly taller than Alina, so it's a bit intimidating as you can imagine. Alina usually runs to the safety of one of us when Bailey starts running around the house, or barking. But when she is laying like a sweet dog on the couch, Alina likes petting her nose. The cutest thing though is that Bailey has taken to getting up most mornings and waiting outside Alina's door for us to get her up in the morning. She'd go right in her room if we didn't have a baby gate up to keep her out.

Rasta is our 15 year old, 8 lb. Blue Russian. She is a bit of a scaredy cat by nature, so she doesn't take too kindly to guests, new people, or other animals. She spends most of her day in our bedroom lounging around as most cats do. When she hears an Alina high pitched, excited shrill (which is what Alina usually lets out upon seeing Rasta), Rasta immediately begins looking for the escape route to the closet. On occasion, she lets Alina per her, but it usually doesn't last long.

Food & Fun
Alina loves to play at the mall playgrounds. Brandon will meet friends who have kids around her age, and let her go nuts. The great part is that the things the kids climb on are super squishy, so she doesn't get hurt in case she takes a minor spill. Granted, the biggest thing to watch out for are the crazy kids running around nuts without their parents paying close attention. There should be sign that says "ADD on display" outside each one of these areas.

Food wise, Alina loves chicken, peas, fish sticks, potatoes, carrots (usually), yogurt, oatmeal, and apple sauce. In fact, she loves apple sauce so much that she is saying the word "apple" almost non-stop on some occasions. We try to get her to say momma, dada, or the other couple words she knows, but she responds with "apple". It's quite cute.

She loves music, and dances or sways her head when she hears it. She's not a huge fan of TV shows, but does like the Backyardigans - not so much for the story, but the music. I have a video of her dancing to the intro song in front of the TV, and it's a riot. Just imagine this tiny little thing throwing her hands in the air (and yes, waving them like she just don't care), spinning around, crouching and jumping up all in one swift motion. Just brilliant.

To sum it all up, it's been a great adventure, and we are so thankful to have a beautiful, smart, fun little girl in our family.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Better Late than Never

I've been asked (or should I say "told") by numerous people that I need to wrap up our blog with an update. It's been a little crazy since we got home with Alina. Not only have we spent much of our time taking care of the baby, I have been working on the annual budget at work, so it's been chaotic to say the least. My apologies to those of you who have been waiting on pins and needles for a wrap up, but I figured you saw our baby in person, so that was enough of a wrap up for you!

Anyway, for those of you that do not know, we flew back to Russia on Sep 5, and we were there for about 2 weeks. We were in Moscow until Monday afternoon, and that evening we took the overnight train to Cheboksary with our coordinators. On Tuesday, we picked up the court documents and the Alina's new birth certificate that showed her name name, and listed us as her parents. We also applied for her Russian passport, which we received on Wednesday.

On Wednesday, we picked up her passport, then took a taxi to Alatyr (2 and 1/2 hour drive) to pick up Alina. We had a brief celebration with the doctor at the Baby House, and then we had to jump back in the car to drive to the train station (1 and 1/2 hour drive). We hopped on the overnight train back to Moscow, and on Thursday, had to take Alina to get a physical by a pediatrician (which is required to get an American Visa).

The next few days were pretty laid back. We hung out with Alina over the weekend, went shopping, and did a little sightseeing around Moscow (nothing too famous, just a few cool churches). Our coordinator filed our paperwork for us at the US Embassy on Friday, and we had an interview at the Embassy on Monday to get Alina's visa. On Tuesday & Wednesday, our coordinator filed more paperwork for us to register Alina with the Russian Embassy. Then on Friday, we flew home.

Once we landed in Chicago, we had to go through customs, and then go to Immigration. After waiting about an hour, they processed our paperwork, and Alina officially became a US citizen. We then caught the final flight in to Dallas to get home. Once we got to the airport, some of our family met us there holding a big sign to welcome Alina home. It was a great treat to see them all after being gone so long, and also to introduce them to their newest family member.

So that is the quick version of the last trip we made. I'll have to remember to come back and provide some more details because the last leg of our journey was truly wonderful.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

I Hate Airlines

The first big issue we encountered on our latest trip hit us right off the bat. Our flight was to leave Dallas at 1pm, land in Chicago around 3:15, and then we had a little over a 2 hour layover until we caught our connecting flight to Moscow. We boarded the plane, and a few minutes after 1, Brandon commented that we were already running late.

A minute or so later, the pilot came over the PA and said that the maintenance crew was replacing the radar in the nose cone and that we'd be there for at least a half hour. A half hour came and went and the pilot then announced that they were still working on it, and that he wasn't sure how long it would be. Likely another 25-30 minutes, he said.

Yet another half hour came and went, and then the pilot announced that they had put a new nose cone on, but that one of the brackets that holds in on was broken. They were going to get a new bracket to put on it, and it shouldn't be too much longer. Meanwhile, we watched the maintenance crew outside load up what must have been the old nose cone on a truck. It was in a large box that was falling apart, and they used a forklift to basically ram it into the back of the truck. This made me a bit nervous, considering that seemed to be a fairly fragile piece of equipment that they could have easily punctured with the forks from the fork lift, but I digress.

Another half hour went by, and the pilot announced that they had the bracket there, and that they were just bolting it on. He said that since it only had 6 bolts to screw in that it should only be like 5-10 more minutes. That was the kiss of death. Finally, about 20 minutes later at 2pm, he said that they were pulling everyong off the flight and that the gate agents were waiting to help rebook us on other flights.

We got to the top of the jetbridge to find ourselves about 30 people deep in a line that eventually had well over 200 people in it, with only 3 agents to help rebook them all. While waiting in line, I called the reservations desk and asked them to rebook our flight. At this point, I knew the only way we could get to Moscow the next day was if they flew us to London, and connected us to another airline, so that is what I told them they needed to do. Because our original flight had not yet been officially cancelled, the reservation agent informed me that she could only get everything set, and that the gate agents would have to finalize it.

We waited in line for about an hour before getting to an agent. At that point, the agent that started helping us left 5 minutes later because apparently he got off at 4pm. He didn't tell us he was leaving, mind you, he just left, and his supervisor proceeded to take over (even though he was in the midst of helping other people). A few minutes later, another agent came over to lend a hand, and the supervisor passed us off to her. By the time we brought her up to speed on what we needed, the supervisor from the London flight came over and said that we needed to come with him in order to get on that flight. Considering he was now be the 4th person to help us, we weren't too pleased.

As this guy finally started getting us booked on our flight, I asked him if our bags would be retagged since we were no longer going through Chicago. He said that they would simply write over the tag. Not sure how that would make anyone else feel, but I was a little skeptical. The good news is that the guy put us in business class since we had been jerked around all day. Not sure if that made up for the fact that we were now getting into Moscow 8 hours later, and that our bags wouldn't make it there until 2 days later (causing us to wear the same clothes for 4 straight days), but it was a decent gesture.