Russia's Decision to Suspend Adoptions

As I am sure many of you have heard, Russia has been mulling over how to react to an adoptive mother sending her child back to Russia simply with a "return to sender" note attached. Russia is now suspending all adoptions to the US until the two countries sign an agreement on the handling of adoptions.

Here is the story on AOL: http://tinyurl.com/yynawdv.

I fully understand why they are angry about this incident. Believe me, we are, too. I also understand that they are not going to just sit on the sidelines and not try to take steps to address this incident, and the future of all Russian children waiting to be adopted. Why the US hasn't already charged this woman with reckless endangerment of a child or something more serious, I haven't got a clue. But even knowing all of this, their decision is a rash overreaction.

While even one incident harming a child is too many, and regardless of how the media sensationalizes it, this is an isolated incident that is NOT the norm. They are punishing hundreds of parents & children, if not more, who are in the middle of getting their children home. Brandon and I met Alina on May 14, 2008 and we were able to see her again for a little bit the next day. We came home and didn't get to see her again until August 27th and the visit was less than 90 minutes. That is 14 weeks and likely the worst 98 days of our lives. Each day was more and more agonizing. We then had to wait another 2 weeks to see her again after the adoption was finalized and we were able to take custody of her. Let me put this in perspective for you. If you gave birth to a child in the hospital, got to spend a few hours with them on the 1st & 2nd day of their lives, and then they said "come back in 3 1/2 months and you can see them for a little bit, then 2 weeks after that you can take them home for good". Not fun AT ALL.

Also during this time was the idea that something, ANYTHING, could go wrong and throw all this off-course. You just never know because you are dealing with a very bureaucratic process in another country. It's simply an unconscionable decision to do this. The other thing to remember here is that no one knows when this will change, so the families who have already met their children may not be able to adopt that child any more if this isn't resolved almost immediately. We would have been emotionally devastated if this happened to us, and I simply cannot fathom how badly these families who are waiting for their children are hurting right now.

I cannot imagine our lives without our baby. She is simply a miracle. There is absolutely no other way to put it. Every day she does something new, or does something funny to make us laugh. There is no better feeling in the world to come home and have her run to me yelling "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" I would give up absolutely anything in my life, or my life itself for her. I can't look at her without thanking God for allowing us to be her parents, and if you see her and don't believe there is a God who directed this to happen than you are delusional. And while the process was inordinately expensive and stressful, we would do it all over again in a split second without thinking about it.

Please write your elected officials to let them know that you support adoptive parents rights, that you believe that Tory Hansen should be punished to the fullest extent of the law, and that you want them to push that the US acts swiftly with Russia to get an agreement in place.

A Letter of Thanks

I am writing this letter today to say thank you to Russia and to Alina’s birth mom. Without her courage and sacrifice, our family would not be the same.

The news from Tennessee is heartbreaking and is only one side of the story. Parenting is not easy nor should it be taken lightly. To be a parent is to love your child unconditionally. Sometimes that is hard to do, most of the time it is easy.

My heart is filled with sorrow for both Tory Hansen and her son Justin (Artyom)– no one but the two of them will ever know why the adoption was not a good fit nor why it ended the way it did. I am not going to speculate on what caused her to think sending her son back to Russia was the best way to handle the situation. I’ll let the experts decide that.

Cases such as the Hansen’s are the exception, not the norm. Our adoption experience has been wonderful. We have had our ups and downs but I feel those are to be expected from anyone trying to keep up with a 3 year old!

It hasn’t always been easy, however Alina is our forever child and Phil and I can’t imagine a life without her. Alina has adjusted well to living in Texas and has become a sweet, funny, smart and charming three-year old. She became a part of our family from the moment we first saw her in Russia.

We are very lucky to have the opportunity to parent our extraordinary daughter Alina. We had great experiences in Moscow as well as at the Baby House in Alatyr and are grateful for the privilege of raising this beautiful little girl.

My hope is for anyone considering adoption not to rule out Russia. We can’t thank Russia enough for the precious gift they gave us as Alina’s parents. She continues to touch the lives of our families and friends daily.

From Texas with love - thank you from the bottom of our hearts.