Mother’s Day is around the corner.
A day to themselves, to do whatever they want, when they want, with no
one calling their name or asking them a question. It’s what every mom dreams of
right?
Being a mommy is hard and it is even harder when you have had to
work really hard to become one. I know how hard it is to become a mom – waiting
for pregnancy tests to show yes, waiting for the doctor to tell you that you
can’t have kids the old fashioned way, waiting for the adoption call that says
you have been matched and waiting for the day that you finally get to meet your
precious child.
I spent a lot of time waiting to become a mom (and a lot of
paperwork!) and I am glad I did. When I finally became a mom, I was scared and
nervous, afraid that I would break her somehow or I wouldn’t know what to do
with her.
I never thought I would become a mom and now I can’t imagine my
life without A. I guess it’s true that a mom’s love knows no boundaries – I become
a fierce momma bear and go into protective mode when there is the least little
threat to A and her happiness. That doesn’t mean I am a pushover, it just means
I have learned pick my battles with my head strong, stubborn girl!
Through all the laughter, the tears, too many diapers to count, the
5-year-old drama, the thousands of puzzles we put together and countless other
memories I am sure I will forget, my thoughts have been turning to the young
woman who gave birth to A.
I can’t imagine what she was thinking as she made the adoption
choice, nor can I imagine how she felt when she placed A in that orphanage in
Russia. All I do know is that her decision has allowed me to become A’s mom.
I am so very glad she made that selfless choice and I feel a
little guilty about that. I have been thinking a lot about A’s birth mom these
last couple of days. What is she doing in Russia and does she think about A? I
want to tell her thank you and tell
her that the precious gift she gave us is turning into a smart, caring, funny
and adorable little girl.
Motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is also the
most rewarding, the most joyous and the most tear-filled adventure I have ever
been on and I don’t want the ride to stop.
We flew into Moscow on Mother’s Day in 2008. As we drove from the
airport to our gracious host family’s house, I could not stop thinking about
the young woman who gave birth to A and how her journey led her to make the
decision that forever changed my family. As I held A in my arms that first
time, I said a silent prayer for her and asked God to comfort her.
Our family would not look the same if it had not been for A’s
Russian mom and for that I am eternally grateful. I will always be A’s mom and
someday I will share with her the beautiful love her birth mom had for her.
Mother’s Day will always be a little bittersweet for me as I
celebrate with my daughter and my husband and
as I remember the decision of a 20-year-old woman whose unselfish act gave me
my heart’s desire.
To A’s birth mom - Happy Mother’s Day to you and thank you from
the bottom of my heart for the perfect Mother’s Day gift.
