The Baby Olympics

Russia's Decision to Suspend Adoptions

2010-04-15T10:20:00.010-05:00

As I am sure many of you have heard, Russia has been mulling over how to react to an adoptive mother sending her child back to Russia simply with a "return to sender" note attached. Russia is now suspending all adoptions to the US until the two countries sign an agreement on the handling of adoptions.

Here is the story on AOL: http://tinyurl.com/yynawdv.

I fully understand why they are angry about this incident. Believe me, we are, too. I also understand that they are not going to just sit on the sidelines and not try to take steps to address this incident, and the future of all Russian children waiting to be adopted. Why the US hasn't already charged this woman with reckless endangerment of a child or something more serious, I haven't got a clue. But even knowing all of this, their decision is a rash overreaction.

While even one incident harming a child is too many, and regardless of how the media sensationalizes it, this is an isolated incident that is NOT the norm. They are punishing hundreds of parents & children, if not more, who are in the middle of getting their children home. Brandon and I met Alina on May 14, 2008 and we were able to see her again for a little bit the next day. We came home and didn't get to see her again until August 27th and the visit was less than 90 minutes. That is 14 weeks and likely the worst 98 days of our lives. Each day was more and more agonizing. We then had to wait another 2 weeks to see her again after the adoption was finalized and we were able to take custody of her. Let me put this in perspective for you. If you gave birth to a child in the hospital, got to spend a few hours with them on the 1st & 2nd day of their lives, and then they said "come back in 3 1/2 months and you can see them for a little bit, then 2 weeks after that you can take them home for good". Not fun AT ALL.

Also during this time was the idea that something, ANYTHING, could go wrong and throw all this off-course. You just never know because you are dealing with a very bureaucratic process in another country. It's simply an unconscionable decision to do this. The other thing to remember here is that no one knows when this will change, so the families who have already met their children may not be able to adopt that child any more if this isn't resolved almost immediately. We would have been emotionally devastated if this happened to us, and I simply cannot fathom how badly these families who are waiting for their children are hurting right now.

I cannot imagine our lives without our baby. She is simply a miracle. There is absolutely no other way to put it. Every day she does something new, or does something funny to make us laugh. There is no better feeling in the world to come home and have her run to me yelling "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" I would give up absolutely anything in my life, or my life itself for her. I can't look at her without thanking God for allowing us to be her parents, and if you see her and don't believe there is a God who directed this to happen than you are delusional. And while the process was inordinately expensive and stressful, we would do it all over again in a split second without thinking about it.

Please write your elected officials to let them know that you support adoptive parents rights, that you believe that Tory Hansen should be punished to the fullest extent of the law, and that you want them to push that the US acts swiftly with Russia to get an agreement in place.

A Letter of Thanks

2010-04-13T18:30:00.002-05:00

I am writing this letter today to say thank you to Russia and to Alina’s birth mom. Without her courage and sacrifice, our family would not be the same.

The news from Tennessee is heartbreaking and is only one side of the story. Parenting is not easy nor should it be taken lightly. To be a parent is to love your child unconditionally. Sometimes that is hard to do, most of the time it is easy.

My heart is filled with sorrow for both Tory Hansen and her son Justin (Artyom)– no one but the two of them will ever know why the adoption was not a good fit nor why it ended the way it did. I am not going to speculate on what caused her to think sending her son back to Russia was the best way to handle the situation. I’ll let the experts decide that.

Cases such as the Hansen’s are the exception, not the norm. Our adoption experience has been wonderful. We have had our ups and downs but I feel those are to be expected from anyone trying to keep up with a 3 year old!

It hasn’t always been easy, however Alina is our forever child and Phil and I can’t imagine a life without her. Alina has adjusted well to living in Texas and has become a sweet, funny, smart and charming three-year old. She became a part of our family from the moment we first saw her in Russia.

We are very lucky to have the opportunity to parent our extraordinary daughter Alina. We had great experiences in Moscow as well as at the Baby House in Alatyr and are grateful for the privilege of raising this beautiful little girl.

My hope is for anyone considering adoption not to rule out Russia. We can’t thank Russia enough for the precious gift they gave us as Alina’s parents. She continues to touch the lives of our families and friends daily.

From Texas with love - thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Gotcha Day

2009-09-10T03:07:00.001-05:00

Today is the one-year anniversary of the day the Rice family traveled to Russia and picked Alina up from the baby house. Today is the day she became our daughter forever. Today is also the day that Alina “got” us as parents and we began our life as a family

Many families who have adopted call this day “gotcha” day. Many disagree with that terminology and call it something entirely different. To us, September 10 will always be Alina’s “gotcha” day, a day to celebrate as a family. To us, this day will always be the day we “got” Alina from the baby house and started the journey back home. As Alina gets older, I am sure the name of her special day will change but it will continue to be a day of celebrating our family, no matter what it is called.

Little did we know as we traveled to Alatyr just how much our lives would change. As soon as we arrived at the baby house, we saw Alina and she held out her arms to me almost as if she knew she was coming home with us. We had a brief celebration with the staff at the baby house –they were all happy to see Alina go home with us but also a bit sad that she was leaving them. That day was an emotion-filled day for all of us.

This year, with Phil’s crazy travel schedule, we are not going to celebrate Alina’s gotcha day in a big way. She and I will do something special to mark the day. Perhaps next year, we will have a bigger celebration with family and friends. We brought back several items from Russia for Alina that we plan on giving her throughout the years as a way to introduce her to Russia and its culture.

Our journey to Alina, for that is how I think of it, was full of ups and downs and what ifs. It was also full of hope, joy and love. Love for a little girl in a country that neither of us ever thought we would visit. Every day that we spent in Russia meant that we were one day closer to bringing her home forever.

We enjoyed our time in Russia and are looking forward to visiting again. Gladney is arranging a heritage trip next year which would allow us to visit Alina’s baby house again. Even though she won’t fully comprehend the trip to Russia, we can’t wait to take her!

Phil and I have spent the last year thanking God for bringing us Alina. I hope when Alina is older, she will also thank God for bringing us to her. Gotcha day indeed!

Almost a Year

2009-08-13T02:25:00.001-05:00

The saying goes “time flies when you are having fun”. Well, let me tell you the time has certainly flown since we brought Alina home from Russia last year!

This year has been anything but ordinary. Alina started a Mother’s Day Out program in January and has done exceptionally well. She has grown so much and gotten so tall – she doesn’t look anything like the baby we brought home in September. Our Russian tsarina has changed so much in a year.

We have celebrated Alina’s first birthday here in Texas, taken her to the circus, on a business trip to Seattle with Phil, had countless play dates with her friends and have enjoyed every crazy minute of it.

I have been thinking a lot about our adoption journey and how when we started, Phil and I didn’t really know what to expect. All we knew for sure was that at some point down the road, we would be the proud parents of a child. Little did we know that we would end up with the sweetest baby tsarina from Russia!!

I think that we were lucky to have adopted Alina when we did, even though we missed some of those firsts. Sleepless nights, bottle feedings, first steps, first teeth, etc. – sure I miss not having those experiences. We have had our own firsts since we brought Alina home –her first words, the first time she said momma, etc. We also had many experiences that not many other families will have.

Alina has learned English quickly and is beginning to talk more and more each day. Every day I am amazed at what she does or what she says – never a dull moment with her! We always seem to get someone who asks us if she speaks Russian and we laugh and say not yet! Perhaps one day she will want to learn Russian and visit where she was born. I hope she does.

Alina loves to look at books and play with puzzles. She has also developed a love for shoes (not quite sure where she got that from, although for those who know me it is only natural). She carries around her favorites – a purple purse, complete with car keys, cell phone and lipstick and her green stuffed frog named Froggie.

Forgive my ramblings – as I have been looking back on the greatest year of my life and thanking God every day for the little girl he gave us. I am not sure if anyone is still reading this – if so, I hope these thoughts make sense. For me, I just felt the need to express some of my feelings about this last year.

We love her so much and are truly blessed that God chose us to be her parents.

The First 100 Days

2009-01-26T17:38:00.003-06:00

Since everyone calls attention to the First 100 Days of any incoming President, I thought I would provide an update on what happened during our First 100 Days of being home with Alina.

Pediatrician Visits
Alina has seen her new pediatrician 3 times since being home. The first visit was a couple days after we got back so that doctor could assess her overall health. Generally speaking, she passed with flying colors. One unfortunately incident though was they had to collect a urine sample, so they put this baggie over her little girlie area (trying to be PC here), and we had to wait for her to pee in it. She wasn't being too helpful, so we took her next door to a place where they could collect a blood sample. At this point, the appointment had lasted a while, and I had to go into the office for a meeting, so I left. Well apparently, Alina didn't like getting stuck by the needle, so she preceeded to cry and released all the urine in her little 23 lb. body: some of which the bag caught, the balance of which ended up on Brandon's lap. The second visit was for routine shots, and the third visit was because she had the croup around the holidays. Alina has deemed the pediatrician's office as an unpleasant place given that she always gets a shot when she goes, the poor baby.

Holidays
We've been able to share Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas with Alina, and they were all a lot of fun.

For Halloween, she was a monkey, and greeted everyone that came to the door with a big grin. She was quite a hit! Brandon also took her to a pumpkin patch, and she kept trying to deadlift different pumpkins of varying sizes.

For Thanksgiving, she was a bit on the fussy side given that my side of the family all descended on her territory at our house. But after a nap, she was right as rain and enjoyed some tasty turkey.

For Christmas, is was the DFW tour, as we went to Cleburne 3 times in 1 week to visit Brandon's various relatives, Keller to visit my brothers, and polished off the holiday with Brandon's extended family coming to our house the Saturday after Christmas. All the celebrations were fantastic, and Alina loved each of them (obviously so because she got a lot of attention and was spoiled with presents). We thought she might get a little cranky with her naps being cut short on Christmas Day, but she showed us her extra gear. We got home about 10pm that night after an hour drive from Cleburne, and laughed because she talked/jabbered the whole way home. Well, that is until 5 minutes before we got home and she fell asleep. Sadly, she doesn't make the transfer from car to crib quietly, so when we put her to bed, she talked for another 20 minutes before drifting off.

Growing like a Weed
She has gained about 5 lbs. since coming home, and continues to get taller. She went from 9 month clothes being "just right" on her, to being slightly undersized for most 18 month clothes.

Our Pets
Alina loves our dog Bailey and our cat Rasta, even though they are all still trying to figure out how their relationship is supposed to work.

Bailey is our 3 year old, 70 lb. English Pointer & Hound mix. She does not realize that she is so big, solid, & strong, and believes that she is a lap dog. When standing on all fours, she is slightly taller than Alina, so it's a bit intimidating as you can imagine. Alina usually runs to the safety of one of us when Bailey starts running around the house, or barking. But when she is laying like a sweet dog on the couch, Alina likes petting her nose. The cutest thing though is that Bailey has taken to getting up most mornings and waiting outside Alina's door for us to get her up in the morning. She'd go right in her room if we didn't have a baby gate up to keep her out.

Rasta is our 15 year old, 8 lb. Blue Russian. She is a bit of a scaredy cat by nature, so she doesn't take too kindly to guests, new people, or other animals. She spends most of her day in our bedroom lounging around as most cats do. When she hears an Alina high pitched, excited shrill (which is what Alina usually lets out upon seeing Rasta), Rasta immediately begins looking for the escape route to the closet. On occasion, she lets Alina per her, but it usually doesn't last long.

Food & Fun
Alina loves to play at the mall playgrounds. Brandon will meet friends who have kids around her age, and let her go nuts. The great part is that the things the kids climb on are super squishy, so she doesn't get hurt in case she takes a minor spill. Granted, the biggest thing to watch out for are the crazy kids running around nuts without their parents paying close attention. There should be sign that says "ADD on display" outside each one of these areas.

Food wise, Alina loves chicken, peas, fish sticks, potatoes, carrots (usually), yogurt, oatmeal, and apple sauce. In fact, she loves apple sauce so much that she is saying the word "apple" almost non-stop on some occasions. We try to get her to say momma, dada, or the other couple words she knows, but she responds with "apple". It's quite cute.

She loves music, and dances or sways her head when she hears it. She's not a huge fan of TV shows, but does like the Backyardigans - not so much for the story, but the music. I have a video of her dancing to the intro song in front of the TV, and it's a riot. Just imagine this tiny little thing throwing her hands in the air (and yes, waving them like she just don't care), spinning around, crouching and jumping up all in one swift motion. Just brilliant.

To sum it all up, it's been a great adventure, and we are so thankful to have a beautiful, smart, fun little girl in our family.

Better Late than Never

2008-11-17T21:54:00.004-06:00

I've been asked (or should I say "told") by numerous people that I need to wrap up our blog with an update. It's been a little crazy since we got home with Alina. Not only have we spent much of our time taking care of the baby, I have been working on the annual budget at work, so it's been chaotic to say the least. My apologies to those of you who have been waiting on pins and needles for a wrap up, but I figured you saw our baby in person, so that was enough of a wrap up for you!

Anyway, for those of you that do not know, we flew back to Russia on Sep 5, and we were there for about 2 weeks. We were in Moscow until Monday afternoon, and that evening we took the overnight train to Cheboksary with our coordinators. On Tuesday, we picked up the court documents and the Alina's new birth certificate that showed her name name, and listed us as her parents. We also applied for her Russian passport, which we received on Wednesday.

On Wednesday, we picked up her passport, then took a taxi to Alatyr (2 and 1/2 hour drive) to pick up Alina. We had a brief celebration with the doctor at the Baby House, and then we had to jump back in the car to drive to the train station (1 and 1/2 hour drive). We hopped on the overnight train back to Moscow, and on Thursday, had to take Alina to get a physical by a pediatrician (which is required to get an American Visa).

The next few days were pretty laid back. We hung out with Alina over the weekend, went shopping, and did a little sightseeing around Moscow (nothing too famous, just a few cool churches). Our coordinator filed our paperwork for us at the US Embassy on Friday, and we had an interview at the Embassy on Monday to get Alina's visa. On Tuesday & Wednesday, our coordinator filed more paperwork for us to register Alina with the Russian Embassy. Then on Friday, we flew home.

Once we landed in Chicago, we had to go through customs, and then go to Immigration. After waiting about an hour, they processed our paperwork, and Alina officially became a US citizen. We then caught the final flight in to Dallas to get home. Once we got to the airport, some of our family met us there holding a big sign to welcome Alina home. It was a great treat to see them all after being gone so long, and also to introduce them to their newest family member.

So that is the quick version of the last trip we made. I'll have to remember to come back and provide some more details because the last leg of our journey was truly wonderful.

I Hate Airlines

2008-09-04T00:36:00.003-05:00

The first big issue we encountered on our latest trip hit us right off the bat. Our flight was to leave Dallas at 1pm, land in Chicago around 3:15, and then we had a little over a 2 hour layover until we caught our connecting flight to Moscow. We boarded the plane, and a few minutes after 1, Brandon commented that we were already running late.

A minute or so later, the pilot came over the PA and said that the maintenance crew was replacing the radar in the nose cone and that we'd be there for at least a half hour. A half hour came and went and the pilot then announced that they were still working on it, and that he wasn't sure how long it would be. Likely another 25-30 minutes, he said.

Yet another half hour came and went, and then the pilot announced that they had put a new nose cone on, but that one of the brackets that holds in on was broken. They were going to get a new bracket to put on it, and it shouldn't be too much longer. Meanwhile, we watched the maintenance crew outside load up what must have been the old nose cone on a truck. It was in a large box that was falling apart, and they used a forklift to basically ram it into the back of the truck. This made me a bit nervous, considering that seemed to be a fairly fragile piece of equipment that they could have easily punctured with the forks from the fork lift, but I digress.

Another half hour went by, and the pilot announced that they had the bracket there, and that they were just bolting it on. He said that since it only had 6 bolts to screw in that it should only be like 5-10 more minutes. That was the kiss of death. Finally, about 20 minutes later at 2pm, he said that they were pulling everyong off the flight and that the gate agents were waiting to help rebook us on other flights.

We got to the top of the jetbridge to find ourselves about 30 people deep in a line that eventually had well over 200 people in it, with only 3 agents to help rebook them all. While waiting in line, I called the reservations desk and asked them to rebook our flight. At this point, I knew the only way we could get to Moscow the next day was if they flew us to London, and connected us to another airline, so that is what I told them they needed to do. Because our original flight had not yet been officially cancelled, the reservation agent informed me that she could only get everything set, and that the gate agents would have to finalize it.

We waited in line for about an hour before getting to an agent. At that point, the agent that started helping us left 5 minutes later because apparently he got off at 4pm. He didn't tell us he was leaving, mind you, he just left, and his supervisor proceeded to take over (even though he was in the midst of helping other people). A few minutes later, another agent came over to lend a hand, and the supervisor passed us off to her. By the time we brought her up to speed on what we needed, the supervisor from the London flight came over and said that we needed to come with him in order to get on that flight. Considering he was now be the 4th person to help us, we weren't too pleased.

As this guy finally started getting us booked on our flight, I asked him if our bags would be retagged since we were no longer going through Chicago. He said that they would simply write over the tag. Not sure how that would make anyone else feel, but I was a little skeptical. The good news is that the guy put us in business class since we had been jerked around all day. Not sure if that made up for the fact that we were now getting into Moscow 8 hours later, and that our bags wouldn't make it there until 2 days later (causing us to wear the same clothes for 4 straight days), but it was a decent gesture.

The Best of Times & The Worst of Times

2008-09-01T12:38:00.002-05:00

Our week in Russia was extremely stressful and trying. There certainly were way too many things that happened to cover all in one entry, so this entry will be a summary of events, and we will follow up with a couple more entries to provide details.

First, the good news:
1) Our adoption petition for Alina was approved on Thursday, August 28, so we are officially parents. There is a 10 day waiting period after the court date to allow for any objections (thus why we are back home this week without the baby).
2) We had a brief visit with Alina on Wednesday. When Brandon went over to get her from her care giver, Alina saw her and got a huge smile and her face. I wish I had my camera ready because it was beautiful.

Second, the bad news:
1) Brandon's car died the night before we were flying out.
2) Our flight out was to be from DFW to Chicago to Moscow. Our flight from Dallas was cancelled after 2 hours, so we couldn't make our connection in Chicago, so we had to fly though London.
3) Our luggage got lost/didn't make it to Moscow the same day we did.
4) We had to pass a medical review in Moscow on Monday as part of the process. This usually takes about an hour and a half, but ours took 4 hours.
5) We have to take a overnight train from Moscow to get to the region where Alina is. There was a mixup on our train tickets, and we had been issued tickets for the wrong day.
6) Our short 90 minute visit with Alina was sidetracked by the doctors and the inspector getting us prepped for what court might bring the next day.
7) Court proceedings, including a lunch break, lasted the better part of the day on Thursday, including getting grilled for about 2 hours by the judge.
8) On our layover in Chicago, we checked our voicemail to find that the A/C in our house went out (FYI - for those not in Dallas, it's been in the upper 90's this weekend).

So this by far was one of the worst weeks in our lives, and at the same time, one of the best because we became Alina's Mom & Dad. It certainly will be memorable for many reasons, but I guess this adds to the story we will be telling her some day.

We'll add a little color around all our travels in the next few posts, for those who are interested. I'm sure you'll get a kick out of at least some of it.

The Baby Olympics vs. The Beijing Olympics

2008-08-18T00:03:00.005-05:00

We are halfway through the Summer Olympics in Beijing, and I wanted to point out a few differences between the two so that there is no confusion out there.

1) All judges in the Baby Olympics (namely, the two of us) are American. In the Beijing Olympics, the judges can be from many different countries.
2) The age limit in the Baby Olympics is under 18 months, while there is no age limit in many of the sports in the Beijing Olympics (with the exception of women's gymnastics where they have to be at least 16).
3) In order to win the Baby Olympics, the scale is slanted toward being cute, vs. having natural athletic ability.
4) The prize in the Baby Olympics is a family vs. a medal.
5) The official languages of the Baby Olympics are Russian and English, vs. French and English.

But don't worry folks, because there are a few similarities.

1) Russia and the United States are both powerhouses.
2) Coordinating and colorful outfits (thanks in large part to Brandon).
3) Very emotional for the participants and the people connected to them, ensuring tears being shed (especially by the Moms).

So I hope this little lesson helps to more clearly define these two wonderful events.

How much fuel does it take to fly a baby from Moscow?

2008-08-08T00:08:00.004-05:00

Assuming all goes well at court and the medical reviews on our upcoming trip to Russia, we will have to make another trip shortly thereafter to finalize everything and bring Alina home. The good news is that we scrounged up enough miles to cover our airfare (plus the applicable taxes & fees, etc). So I started checking on how much that next trip will likely cost us, and called the airline's customer service desk.

One thing that we now have to consider is the idea of the "lap child". Well, flying domestically, apparently you don't have to pay for a lap child. However, for an international trip, you have to pay 10% of the base ticket price of an adult ticket. In our case, from Russia back to Dallas, that will be like $75. Not bad, right? Well, that's not all.

The customer service agent said "you will also have to pay for fuel surcharge, and as you know, fuel has gone up a lot in reason years, and the fuel surcharge has gone up like 300%." Well, can't say that I follow the gouging that is the "fuel surcharge", but I do follow regular gas prices (which, for the record. have only gone up like 200% during this same time frame). I'm thinking, okay, that will like double the price maybe. Oh no. It will be an additional $385!

So I start trying to rationalize this out. People can load like 40 lbs or more into a carry on bag and get charged nothing. You can load 50 lbs into the first bag you check and pay like $15 (I think), and yet transporting our little 20 lb. baby, who will be eating only food that we bring with us mind you, will cost nearly $500 all-in? Holy cow! She's not even getting a seat! Will that extra 20 lbs actually burn THAT much more fuel? Crazy.

Russia Trip #2

2008-08-04T22:48:00.003-05:00

We found out today that we will be heading back to Russia on Aug 23 for a week. On Monday and Tuesday, we will go to Moscow first to be seen by 8 doctors for various medical examinations: a requirement for the adoption. Tuesday night we will travel to Alatyr to see Alina on Wednesday before going to court in Cheboksary on Thursday. Thursday night we will travel back to Moscow overnight, and we'll be there until we come back on Saturday.

The reason we will be coming home is that there is a 10 day waiting period after our appearance in court before the adoption can be finalized. If all goes well, we will be headed back to Russia about a week later to go to court again.

So awesome to see things continue to progress.

Did we mention the waiting?

2008-07-29T23:59:00.002-05:00

We heard today that our paperwork has made its way to the court in Russia. Now the judge has to review our dossier (all our documentation), and determine if everything is in order. Once it is determined that our paperwork is good to go, then the judge has 2 months to set a court date. Since the month of August in Russia is the main time that many people take a vacation, we assume that we will not travel until September. But there is certainly no guarantee because we have no idea how long it normally takes a judge to review the paperwork.

In the meantime, we continue to prepare our home for Alina's arrival. The wonderful folks at my office held a shower for us today. We continue to be overwhelmed by the generosity of our friends and family.

Everything about this experience has ended up being a learning experience and a journey that we will never forget. Not only have we been reminded of how great a support network we have around us, we have found out more about ourselves. When we feel that we have just about run out of patience, God grants us a little bit more to get through another day.

I am usually a fairly happy go lucky person, with very few things in life causing me to worry too much that I don't know what to do with myself. But this is something that has tried my patience and my perseverance more than I have ever been tested in my life. I've found myself praying more, and asking God to watch over our little girl, and that he grant us more patience.

We know He has chosen Alina to be ours, and it's dumbfounding to think of the wheels that had to be set in motion to bring this all together. There apparently was a couple just ahead of us on the waiting list in Chuvashia, but the week prior they decided to focus on a different region (they had been listed in two regions, while we were listed in just one). Knowing that we were matched at the exact time so that she would be the one we would meet reminds us that we will go back at the exact time that is right for us and for her.... in other words, on God's timing.

We put this in His hands and ask Him to protect and keep her because we cannot. All we ask for ourselves at this point is to make it through each day until we get the call that we are going back. Giving this worry up to God has been difficult, but it's the only thing that has helped us not to stay awake at night worrying about her to this point.

We'll Miss You, Bob!

2008-07-24T16:20:00.004-05:00

We received some sad news this past weekend. Our neighbor, Bob Yum, passed away after a heart attack. He was just 59 years old, and he is gone way too soon. He was such a kind man and a wonderful neighbor, and we were blessed to know him. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his brother Art and their family as they deal with this loss.

For those of you that may not know, or remember, Bob was our pharmacist for the last 3 years (ever since we bought our house). If you have followed our blog from the beginning, then you also know that he wrote one of our recommendation letters for our adoption. We are very sad that he won't get to meet Alina when she comes home.

Our dog, Bailey, will also miss barking and jumping on him when he hand delivered some of our prescriptions to the house. He always laughed, and was amazed at how big she was.

Hurry Up and Wait

2008-07-16T15:15:00.004-05:00

The first 6 weeks after getting home from Moscow was a flurry of activity. We pulled together paperwork needed to send to Russia and had it notarized. We saw our doctor for another physical, and even saw a psychologist, so that we could have reports from them saying we were physically and mentally fit to be parents. We've met with our new pediatrician, and in the next couple weeks we will be researching and finding a part-time daycare for when Brandon has meetings outside the house. Finally, we've also spent time pulling Alina's room together, having baby showers, buying stuff we needed, and getting rid of any items in our house we no longer had room or any use for. So now, it's just waiting.

Our paperwork got to Russia early last week where it has to be translated, notarized, and authenticated. That process usually takes about 3 weeks, so we are nearly half way through the average time for that. Then it goes to the court so that they can set a hearing date. If I had to venture a guess, I think we should know a little more by the beginning of August, but don't hold me to that timeline because I honestly have no clue. What I do know is that we are on pins and needles until we hear something.

One other thing, keep your fingers crossed for my Mom. She has a out-of-town vacation planned for the second week of September, and if Alina comes home during that time, she will be beside herself!

Baby Shower #2

2008-07-14T11:10:00.004-05:00

Yesterday we had a couples' shower with several more friends and their kids. Our friends Jennifer and Lisa hosted it for us at our house, and we very much appreciate all their hard work to pull it together. One cute thing happened to Lisa when she went to pick up the cake. She had them write "Welcome Alina" on the cake. When she went to pick it up, the woman at Tom Thumb in a very thick Russian accent asked "Is the baby from Russia?" Lisa smiled and answered "Yes she is." We are so very proud that Alina is from Russia and we hope to learn more about her country and culture when we travel back there.

We had a great time sharing stories of our Russian travels at the party, and we fielded questions about the adoption process from our guests. One thing is for certain, when you decide to become an adoptive parent, you will instantly become an advocate for making the entire process easier on deserving families. We certainly cannot complain, because the length of time for our adoption was shorter than we anticipated, but it certainly has had its bumps in the road. We thought the wait before getting matched to a child would be hard, but we had no idea that the wait to return to get our little girl after we had met her would be a thousand times more difficult.

We also were able to show off Alina's room now that it is finished. With its green walls and cherry wood furniture, it has become a very peaceful and serene part of our house and we find ourselves drawn in. We have a couple pictures of her in the room so that we can see her beautiful face every time we walk in. We can't wait to bring her home and spend time with her in her new room. Very soon we will know what it is like to be parents day-in and day-out, and we look forward to the day when we can't remember what it was like without her in our lives.

You Look Fabulous!

2008-07-06T21:45:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, Brandon and I swung by Target to get one thing fixed on our registry. Because we had registered there for our wedding and used the same e-mail address, they still had her maiden name on the baby's registry. We tried calling their customer service line, but the person we got must have been incompetent because they didn't fix it even after assuring us it had been done.

Upon arriving at the store, we went to the Customer Service desk to tell them of our plight hoping they could help us. Unfortunately, they told us that it could only be done online or by calling the customer service desk. When we told them we had tried both with no luck, they offered to call customer service for us while we waited.

Rather than stand around having both of us stare at them, I decided to walk around a bit. As Brandon stood with the lady from Target, the woman looked and saw that the baby due date on our registry said August 1st. Assuming Brandon was 8 months pregnant, she did a double take at the registry, and then at Brandon and exclaimed, "Your baby is due August 1st? My God, you look fabulous."

Brandon then had to explain to the woman that we were adopting, and that their system would not allow us to put Alina's birthdate in since it was in 2007, so we were forced to pick a random date. However, Brandon thanked her for the compliment anyway. As we later walked around the store, I think there was still a spring in her step from the the misled compliment.

110 Miles Round Trip

2008-07-02T22:04:00.003-05:00

Our psychologist called us back today and she had some time for me to come down to her office and basically walk her and the notary through the documents we needed. It was certainly frustrating for them because I had to be SUPER anal-retentive about every detail. Here are a few items you cannot have on the documents:

Abbreviations like St., Trl., and Dr. are unacceptable. You have to spell out "street", "trail", "drive", etc. in your street address. You also have to spell out the state name, so we have to spell out Texas in every place required.

Dates must have the month spelled out. So you have to write July 2, 2008. I think this might be due to the fact that in Europe, they write out dates differently than we do. In American, today is 07/02/08. In Europe, that would be February 2nd because the day comes first, then the month.

Once we had the new documents completed, I decided to go ahead and drive them over to the Gladney office in Fort Worth (about a 55 mile drive one way to the other side of the metroplex). I figured it would be best to hand deliver the documents to them so that they could give it a once over and make sure they were okay. If not, then I would have tomorrow to get in touch with the Doctor again to get them fixed (and I am sure she would have LOVED to hear from us again) before we hit the holiday on Friday.

Next step is for our dossier (collection of official documents) to be delivered to Russia. They will probably get there next week, and then they will have to be translated, and then they will go to court in Cheboksary. Once the court date is set, then that will trigger the dates when we travel back. Hopefully we will be traveling by early August (if not sooner).

Red Tape

2008-07-01T14:07:00.009-05:00

From Webster's dictionary...

Function: noun
Etymology: from the red tape formerly used to bind legal documents in England
Definition: official routine or procedure marked by excessive complexity which results in delay or inaction

I officially hate red tape. Not that anyone likes it, but I abhor it. Loathe it, even. If there was a theme for the adoption process, likely anyone's adoption process, it would involve red tape. I don't know this for a fact, but I highly doubt that any company actually makes red tape because of the negative connotation with it. If they do, then they might want to reconsider the marketing strategy around the product. Market it to people who have become so highly frustrated with red tape that they want to get a roll of it, and destroy it in some amazing fashion. Sales would go through the roof!!!!

The reason for my latest rant is because at the end of a long two weeks of going through the motions, we finally got our letters from the psychologist that basically state we are mentally fit to be parents. For those of you that know me, and have always thought I was nuts, I now have a paper that officially states that I am not! But, I digress.

We sent the letters overnight to a courier in Austin so that they could walk them over to the Texas Secretary of State's office to be apostilled. All the apostille process does is authenticate that the person who notarized our document is, in fact, a valid notary authorized by the state of Texas. So the courier did their job wonderfully, and the letters were received by our agency today.

Unfortunately, upon closer examination of the letters, the notary that the psychologist used stamped their name on the document instead of signing it. I honestly have never heard of a notary doing that, so that explains why it slipped past me in the first place. The stamped signature will not be accepted by the Russian courts. In fact, I can't think of ANY court that should accept a document using a stamped signature from a notary. Why they would do this in the first place is beyond me. So we have to get the letters redone all over again. Yeah, more paperwork!!!

Baby Shower #1

2008-06-30T10:09:00.002-05:00

Brandon's friend Kathleen and her mom Sue hosted a ladies tea and baby shower for her on Saturday afternoon. Both my Mom, Edith, and Brandon's Mom, Pam, were in attendance, as well as some of the ladies in our extended family, and her close friends. It is moments like these that again humble us because we realize what wonderful friends and family we have to support us. Brandon had a wonderful time, and we thank everyone who was able to come and share in the experience and preparation for Alina's homecoming.

I, on the other hand, occupied myself by working on the baby's room with my father-in-law, Rick. We put up crown molding, which is now ready for me to paint this next weekend. Once that is done and I move the rest of my baseball card & memorabilia collection (aka "clutter") out of her closet, I think her room will be just about ready. Given how much stuff we received at the shower, and the already increasingly limited storage space we have, I realized that I am going to have to be a little more critical of the items that make it to the "keep pile". Who knew the amount of accoutrements a baby has to have? It's unbelievable!

Cousin Andrew

2008-06-24T22:55:00.003-05:00

Yesterday at 1:59pm, Alina gained a cousin. My brother Keith and his wife Debbie welcomed their 3rd son, Andrew Nicolas. He was about a month early, so he was a little light for the typical Rice kid. He weighed in at 5 lbs 3 oz, but was still 19 inches long. Considering his Dad is 6'5", and his Mom is like 5'10", you know that he'll be a tall one.

It was great to go to the hospital last night and experience the first few hours of Andrew's life with him. It was a wonderful experience, and I am so grateful that Brandon and I were able to share that time with Keith & Debbie. It really hit me that this is something that I won't get to experience with my own child, so I soaked it all in. It's not that I am not disappointed that I won't have that experience with Alina, it's just different. Parents who don't adopt will not have the same experience that we will, and I think they are missing out, too. We will get to experience something that not a lot of people out there will do, and for that we are truly blessed and lucky.

The other thing that was cool was to see all my nephews with their Grandma (my Mom). She was so excited to hold Andrew, and to have Daniel (Greg's son), Nate & Caleb (Keith's oldest sons) surrounding her. I looked at that and marveled at what a great group Alina will soon be a part of, and that she will be the sole princess. It's going to be a cool ride.

The Last Step

2008-06-18T23:23:00.003-05:00

In order to get a court date set in Russia, one of the last things we have to do is to get an evaluation done by a psychologist. We met with a psychologist last Friday, and it went well. We basically just had a conversation so the doctor could get to know us.

As a follow-up, she had to give us personality tests. Brandon took hers on Monday, and I go in tomorrow to take mine. The test consists of over 500 questions, and they are all True/False. Once she gets the results back, she will be able to write up our evaluations and we can send those on to be reviewed and eventually sent to Russia to be translated for the courts. So now the big wait begins as we will no longer have any paperwork to complete on our end.

This has certainly become a much harder wait than we ever could have anticipated. For the first couple weeks, I think the void of missing her was masked a bit by the excitement of our trip to Russia, and our visits with her. But now that the buzz from our first trip has started to subside, our second trip cannot come fast enough. We hope that our paperwork will get to the courts in Russia soon because July and August are apparently big vacation months there, so we hope that doesn't present any further delays to bringing our angel home sooner rather than later.

Sad News

2008-06-15T22:38:00.002-05:00

This week, we had to say goodbye to one of Alina's grandmothers. Glenda, Brandon's stepmom, passed away at the young age of 56. She was so excited about meeting Alina, and had apparently already picked up a couple items for her. We are so sad that she will not be able to meet Alina in person, but we are thankful that she was able to see pictures of her, and knew that she would be coming home soon.

Our thoughts and prayers are with Brandon's Dad, Lonnie, and with our extended family.

Pictures & Video

2008-06-03T09:27:00.003-05:00

So many of you have asked how we are coping with having to leave Alina behind in Russia. Well, it certainly isn't easy, but it has helped that we have been extremely busy getting paperwork together for the courts plus pulling together her room at our house. We also bought Brandon a new vehicle this weekend and sold her Beetle. It was a very sad day in the Rice household as Brandon loved that car, but it just wouldn't have worked with a toddler. So we bought a low-mileage, "pre-owned" 2005 Honda CRV.

The other thing that helps is that we took several pictures of her and about 45 minutes worth of video during our visit. So we look at the pictures pretty much every day. Her adorable face already occupies several select locations around our house, plus each of us has a small photo album that we carry with us (Brandon's in her purse, and mine in my laptop bag.....fine my man-purse).

We showed the video to my Mom last night and she mentioned that I seem to be on camera with the baby more than Brandon is. I think it's because Brandon is not a huge fan of being video taped, but she and my Mom concocted a story that makes me sound more like an attention hog (what, me?). I did get back at her about her camera-work, which can only be best described as very "Blair Witch". For those that didn't see that movie, the camera is all over the place and by the end of it you felt like you had been on a roller-coaster ride you were so dizzy. So great that we will keep these memories and share them with our daughter so that some day she can make fun of us, too.

When do we go back?

2008-05-29T13:02:00.002-05:00

The most popular question we get at this point is when do we get to go back and bring Alina home. Well, the short answer is that the average time between the 1st and 2nd trip is 2-3 months. We are in the process of putting together the paperwork required by the court in Chuvashia. For those interested, here is a rundown of all that we need:

3 Copies of a letter of intent from us (a letter that states that we want to adopt this specific child)
2 Medical questionnaires from our doctor for each of us (saying that we are physically and mentally fit to adopt a child)
2 Copies of our doctor's license (we did this before, but his license was renewed back in February, so we had to do it again)
2 Letters from my company stating my current income and how long I have worked there
2 Letters from our CPA stating Brandon's income for 2007, since she is self-employed
2 Background Check Letters from the State Police
2 Letters from a licensed psychologist stating our ability to be adoptive parents
2 Copies of the psychologist's license
2 Copies of some other documents stating that we agree to post-placement supervision, that we will register our child with the appropriate Russian consulate upon returning to the US and if we move, and a couple other minor documents

All of the above (with the exception of the police letter) had to be notarized as well, so that's an extra step taken in the process. We have most of the documents done, the only items we have left are (1) we are waiting for our state police letters to be returned to us as we've already submitted our fingerprints and (2) we are currently scheduling the appointment with a psychologist.

Once those are done, the info then gets sent to the state of Texas to be apostilled (basically they certify that the notaries who signed the forms are registered with the state), and then it can be sent to Russia to be translated and sent to the court. So LOTS of stuff going on, but we are done with about 80% of what we need to do already, so we've made a lot of progress.

We have a crib!

2008-05-28T13:48:00.002-05:00

Brandon and I bought our crib and baby furniture this past weekend. The furniture is on order, but we were able to buy a floor model of the crib so that we could get it now. We brought it home this weekend, and put it together last night. Bailey, our dog, tried to help as well. She was crawling under the bed and then flopped down. We're not sure if she was going to try to hold it up for us while we screwed it together, or if she was just providing moral support. We'll go with the latter, because she really provided no help except to gain attention.

After we got it together, we started putting our bedding on it to get a sense of what it looked like pulled together. It also helped us to narrow down some of our paint colors for the room. It's a bit scary that it is all coming together, but very exciting at the same time.

We hope that the bedding will go to good use very soon, as we are putting together all of the paperwork needed in order to get our court date set in Russia. We can't wait to go back not only to get our daughter, but also to take in the country a little more. We want to take in more of the country so that we can be good stewards to Alina about its history and the wonderful sights that can be seen there. We also look forward to seeing the people we've met again since they are as much a part of this process as we are.

Fast Facts about our 1st trip

2008-05-21T10:01:00.007-05:00

Thought we would give you a few fast facts about our trip.

By the numbers....
Air travel time: 29 hours
Train travel time: 22 hours
Car/Taxi travel time: 4 hours
Moscow traffic time: 14 hours
Words we know in Russian: maybe 12
Number of nights slept on a train: 2
Bowls of borscht we ate:3, before this trip: 0
Stalls in the men's bathroom at the train station that shared a single roll of toilet paper: 8

Other items of interest....
The mullet hairstyle is alive and well in Russia.
Even though a couple days it was 70+ degrees outside, many people were still pretty bundled up.
Traffic laws are really just suggestions, because 4 cars can fit side-by-side across only 2 lanes and a shoulder. (much like any really big city in the US: New York, LA, etc.)
Coming from Texas (the land of the pickup truck & SUV), it was very strange to see only 2 pickup trucks the entire week we were in Russia - both being the smaller variety.

So I kid a little here to get a laugh, but to be honest, we had a wonderful time in Russia. Our hosts were so accomodating and hospitable. It's amazing that we could connect with them even though there was a huge language barrier. We hope to stay with them on our 2nd trip as well as they are a part of our Russian family.

Happy Birthday, Alina!

2008-05-20T17:32:00.002-05:00

Today is Alina's first birthday, and we are more than 5000 miles away from her. To say the least, it is not a really fun day for us because we wish that we could be with her. We had a wonderful visit last week with her, spending about 6 hours over two different days getting to know her. Since we knew we wouldn't be with her today, we sang happy birthday to her during a quiet moment with just the three of us last week.

It's amazing to think how our lives have already changed for the better, and that we now have someone else that we put ahead of ourselves. Last night we watched the clips of video we took of her, and just marveled at how amazing she is. It's hard to believe that we have connected so deeply with her so quickly. While we came home after just a week, a piece of our heart stayed in Alatyr with our little baby girl. We are simply wrecked and will not feel complete again until we get to see that beautiful face in person again.

We are keeping ourselves busy with the paperwork we need to complete in order to get the court date set in Russia. We want to get it done as soon as possible so that our second visit comes sooner rather than later. At the end of that visit, assuming all goes as planned, then we will be able to bring her home. We also have LOTS of stuff to get in order, like her room, etc., so that will hopefully help to pass the long wait until we see her. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, as we know that God is watching out for her while we cannot.

Say hello to Alina Evelyn

2008-05-16T08:20:00.004-05:00

We just got back to Moscow this morning from Chuvashia. It was an incredible journey that culminated when we met our baby. After meeting her, we decided to call her Alina Evelyn. We felt strongly that we wanted to keep a Russian name, so we chose Alina, which means beautiful. Evelyn, of course, is a family name on both sides - Brandon's grandmother, and my mother's sister. She has beautiful blue/grey eyes, and very light blonde hair. Her 1st birthday is coming up this week, Tuesday, May 20th. We feel very sad that we will miss it.

While in the region, the baby house doctor arranged for us to take a tour of a Russian Orthodox monastery. It was brilliant, and certainly a once in a lifetime experience. We weren't allowed to take pictures of the inside, but got several of the outside. We also bought a book that has pictures of the inside for Alina. The book is written in Russian, so she'll have to keep learning in order to read more about it. The village only has 40,000 people, but has 18 monasteries. I'd say that's quite a bit per capita.

We went to the notary this afternoon in Moscow to make it official that this is the baby we want to adopt. Now we have to come home and get some additional paperwork done on our end so that we can get the court date set as soon as possible. Everyone in both America and in Russia seems very willing to try to make this go as fast for us as they can, so we have a lot going for us on both sides of the process.

We're in Russia!

2008-05-12T12:08:00.003-05:00

Brandon and I made it to Russia without a hitch. We landed yesterday afternoon just before 4pm, and spent about the next hour or more trying to get through passport control. The workers kept taking breaks (or at least leaving their booths for a few minutes), and people kept jumping between lines. It was mass chaos. The interesting thing, though, is that by the time we got up to the window, the woman that helped us looked a bit like a Russian-version of my sister-in-law Debbie.

We were welcomed at the airport by Alexander (aka Sasha), and his 10-year old daughter Masha. We then had about a 2 hour ride in traffic to get to Alexander's parents house, Ludmila and Lev. Apparently traffic was very bad because it was the end of a 4-day weekend.

Masha entertained us last night, as she is the one who speaks the best English. We played cards for a while, and then we found out that Masha dances traditional Russian dances. We asked her to dance for us, thinking it would just be a 30 second sample. She actually went to the other room, changed into her traditional dress, and danced for a good 10 minutes. I was able to take a couple pictures which I'll post at some point. She then went and got into a different dress so I grabbed the video camera to tape her. When she saw that I had a video camera this time, she exclaimed "ohhhhh" and proceeded to dance for another few minutes, hamming it up the whole time. She's quite the entertainer.

Today we went to register our visas, which you have to do within the first 3 days of arriving. We also met Tatyana, who is our translator and will be traveling with us to the baby house. She doesn't know much about the baby, but apparently she's been told that she is beautiful and a good baby.

All in all, we are doing terrific and thank you all for your continuous thoughts and prayers.

Baby Idiots

2008-05-06T23:36:00.002-05:00

We found out today that we are baby idiots. Let me first set the story up just a bit...

We have to take some items for use by the orphanage in Russia. These items can be clothes for the kids, antibacterial lotion, surgical gloves or masks, baby vitamins, shampoo, developmental toys, etc.

We walked aimlessly around Wal-Mart trying to figure out where all these things were. Sure, some of them were easy to find, but which ones are grouped together? Which ones are in the baby section vs. the pharmacy? Which ones are with detergents or soaps? Do they group child clothes for 12 months or less, and those more than 12 months in different groups, or are they all mixed together?

So I looked at Brandon and said "we are baby idiots"! I know we'll figure all this stuff out, but if anyone could tell me what section baby vitamins are in (that is, children UNDER 2 years), let me know.

We're headed to Russia!!

2008-05-06T00:52:00.002-05:00

We got the call today from our adoption agency and they told us we have been matched to a child! All we know is that she is just shy of a year - no name, no medical history, and no picture (which is pretty common with international adoptions).

The crazy part is that they told us we had to be in Russia by Monday, the 12th. You read that right, 7 days from today. Pretty unbelievable, eh? Thank God for airline miles, because the tickets that would have cost us about $5,000 total cost us only $350. We spent the better part of today arranging our flights and putting together our a FedEx pack of info so that we could get our Russian visas by Wednesday.

The other thing that we have to do is complete 10 hours of video training before we leave. We had been so focused on paperwork the past few months, and we had been told that it would take 12-18 months in total that we hadn't started our training. So in the midst of getting all of the other things ready for our trip, we have to watch the videos. We cranked out 3 tonight, and succesfully passed the follow-up quizzes in order for us to get credit for them. Only 7 hours to go!

Where in the world is Chuvashia, Russia?

2008-04-23T23:45:00.006-05:00

Okay, so it's not as catchy as "Carmen San Diego", but it is the region that we have been assigned to. One of the steps in getting matched to a child is getting assigned to a specific region. We just found out today that Chuvashia is the region we have been assigned to. The agency sent us a fact sheet about the region that gave us a summary of its history, people, economy, and politics.

As you can imagine, we are going to be doing a lot of research about the area in the coming days. We do know that the capital city of Chuvashia is Cheboksary, which is about 400 miles southeast of Moscow. If you'd like to do your own digging, here is the link on Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuvashia

Another interesting happening this week was that Brandon heard from some friends of hers who are adopting a child domestically. They were matched to a birth mother and were waiting on the birth of their child when the mother skipped town. Their agency thinks that the birthmom was shopping for a better offer outside of Texas. Apparently, Texas is pretty strict about the "benefits" that a mother can receive. They were devastated, but are pushing onward. They have to be matched all over again to a birthmom.

This is one of the reasons why we chose to adopt internationally vs. domestic. The rights in the case of a domestic adoption are very heavily weighted to the birth parents, plus there is the surprise factor that can happen on occasion (like the one above).

Domestic and International adoptions offer different experiences, challenges, and rewards. We feel we made the right decision for us because the issues with domestic adoption seemed unbearable. That doesn't mean that it's not right for other families, or that international adoption is in some way better. It's a very personal decision as to which one is right for your family.

We're On The List!!!

2008-04-11T23:25:00.004-05:00

We officially are on the adoption waiting list for Russia! It's been a long time coming, and we've had a series of issues that have tried our patience, but we are over another big hurdle. We've been told that the wait will be about 12-15 months for a girl, so we will need as much of your prayers as possible to help our patience last just a little while longer.

So here are a couple things to note at this point:

1) If our daughter is somewhere between 9-12 months old when we meet her, then that means she could be born in the next few weeks. If she is closer to 15-18 months, then she is probably already out there. But we won't know what day she is actually born until next year. Funny to think that on the day she was/will be born will be just another day of waiting for us and not knowing. We have all faith that God will look out for her even though we haven't met her yet and we will not yet know the day she arrives in this world.

2) We just took a trip to Vegas, and we found out the day before that we were on the list. So it really started to hit us that soon our lives will be completely different. It's funny what we noticed with this new knowlege. For instance, I never really paid attention to the fact that they have baby changing shelves in the bathroom of an airplane. I never needed to know that before, but considering that trip was probably one of the last times that we will travel by ourselves, it really started to sink in.

Thanks to everyone for your continued support, interest, and prayers.

If you build it, he will come

2008-03-26T00:19:00.002-05:00

By the way, I am watching Field of Dreams. Quite possibly one of the greatest baseball movies made in my lifetime (behind The Natural, of course). Every time I watch it, I think of my father and how much I miss him. He loved both of these movies, and he loved baseball.

I can't wait to teach my little girl about baseball like Ray Kinsella (played by Kevin Costner) does in the movie, and like my Dad taught me. Oh, have we mentioned that we are asking for a little girl? That's probably a useful piece of information to share at this point.

There's no L in Brandon

2008-03-25T23:44:00.002-05:00

We finally received our Criminal Background checks from the Texas Dept of Public Safety. I can't tell you how excited I was when I got back to the office after lunch and saw the FedEx envelope on my desk. I knew exactly what it was when I walked in my office because I never get mail at the office.

I opened up the envelope and was very happy to see that they included not just the two copies for each of us that we needed, but four. Wow, what a nice surprise, right? I looked again at the forms more closely only to find that they misspelled Brandon's name (they put an L instead of an R, so it said Blandon).

I guess I can see how they made the mistake. I only put in 3 ways for them to cross check the spelling: (1) we typed our names on the letter we sent to them, (2) we had to include our driver's license numbers, and (3) we had to include our social security numbers. And before you ask, her name is spelled correctly on both her driver's license and socials security card.

The good news is that our agency said that it should be okay for the first time around. The bad news is that I found out that we have to go through this all over again between our two trips to Russia. Boy, are we excited!!!

Up next: getting our FBI fingerprints done and getting the last round of our Hepatitis shots. Oh the joy!

Homeland Security finally got something right

2008-02-26T00:50:00.004-06:00

We received our form today that allows us to get our fingerprints done for our FBI background check! And before you ask, the answer is yes - this is a 2nd and completely different background check than the one the Texas DPS is conducting.

You may remember the problems we had with USCIS several months ago. Well, our homestudy was mailed to the Dallas office of USCIS in January, but our original application was sitting in the pending homestudy file in the Tulsa office. We e-mailed the Dallas office back on Feb 13th asking them to track down our application from the Tulsa office.

A week went by, and we heard nothing, so I e-mailed the Tulsa office asking them to track down our homestudy. Thankfully, they e-mailed me back the same day and said they would get the homestudy forwarded to them so that they could process it. At the same time, they also said they would mail us our fingerprint instruction form. We weren't holding our breath waiting for it, so it was to our complete surprise we received it today (only 3 business days after we heard from them). I am surprised I didn't pass out when Brandon called me at work to tell me that we had received it.

So now we have 90 days to go get our fingerprints taken so that they can complete a separate background check (because obviously one isn't good enough - yeah, right).

And in case you were wondering, the Dallas office e-mailed me back 2 days after the Tulsa office responded to me to let me know that Tulsa would be doing the processing. Gee, thanks for the "news"!

Government Conspiracy

2008-02-12T23:45:00.003-06:00

Brandon and I had to send in finger prints to the Texas Dept of Public Safety for them to do a background check on us. We mailed the cards to them on Jan 2nd. We were told that it takes them 2-3 weeks to process. So on week 4, I decided to call them to see what was going on. They informed me that they didn't have us in the system yet which meant 1 of 2 things:
(1) they had not received them back from the dept that does the actual check yet, or
(2) they had received them but they had not yet been put into the system.
So they told me to call back the following week.

That was 2 weeks ago, so I called again this past Friday. The lady looked our names up and said that they had sent everything back to us because payment was not included. Well I did include the $32 payment in the form of a money order, which I guess they lost. So in order to track the money order down, I have to pay $15 and that takes a month to process. So rather than wait, I sent the forms back yesterday with a personal check this time (easier to track, even though the first time I was told a money order was preferred).

Since this is the 2nd government agency that has basically messed up our paperwork, you can only imagine how livid I was at this point. So livid, in fact, that on Saturday when we got the documents back from them in the mail, I wrote both Texas Senators and our US Congressman to tell them how messed up the process is. Doubt it does any good, but it made me feel better at the time.

After mailing the package back to them via FedEx last night, I met Brandon at our favorite Chinese restaurant. We talked a little more about the phone conversations that I had with DPS trying to track down our money order and that led to a discussion on the incompetence of government agencies, which got our blood boiling a little more. At the end of dinner, Brandon opens her fortune cookie to find not 1, but 3 fortunes in it. 2 of them read as follows:

"Don't give up. Your problem gets better next month."

"A short stranger will soon enter your life with blessing to share."

I'm not saying we believe in fortune cookies, but it is kind of ironic that we got those on a day like that. The good news is that it had us laughing and our respective blood pressures went back to normal.

One Approval Down, One More To Go!

2008-02-01T12:40:00.001-06:00

We received word that we were officially approved by our adoption agency as an adoptive family! This is the first big milestone that we've been working towards. We still have a long way to go, but we know at least feel like we've gotten somewhere.

The next steps are as follows:

1) We are still waiting to receive our criminal background check from the Texas Dept of Public Safety. We hope to have that in the first week or two of February as that is part of our dossier that has to go to Russia. (FYI - a dossier is all the important documents that Russia needs in order to approve us)

2) We just got a packet of documents that our dossier service sent back to us to have signed and notarized. So glad that we hired Kate to help us with our dossier because that's one less thing we have to worry about getting right. She basically checks our work and organizes everything. Well worth every penny to have a few less headaches in a process that is chocked full of them.

3) Send our dossier to the state of Texas for a process called apostille. From what I understand, they just go through our documents to make sure that all the notarys we used are valid.

4) Once the dossier is back from the state, we send it to Russia for their approval. Once we are approved by them, it's supposedly about a 9-18 month wait.

Thanks to everyone who is keeping tabs on us. Please keep the thoughts, prayers and well wished coming because we sure need them.

Oh, almost forgot - we still need to go get our 3rd shot in the series of TB2 shots, plus a couple others (like one for menongitis, I think). Yeah for us!!!

Happy New Year!

2008-01-03T22:52:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe that 2007 is behind us. Time certainly does seem to fly, and it's hard to believe that it's been about 6 months since we decided to start on this journey of adoption.

We just spent what we hope is our last (or next to last) holiday season without a kiddo. It's very exciting to think that if we can get our documents submitted to the state by the end of January, and then to Russia by the end of Febuary/early March, we could be on the waiting list a little after Easter.

From there, they estimate that the waiting period is about 9-18 months, however, it could change since our adoption agency just received its reaccreditation from Russia this past month. While waiting for the reaccreditation, they put several couples on their waiting list, so there are approximately 25-35 families ahead of us, from what we can tell. But since there haven't been that many adoptions out of Russia recently pending other agency reaccreditations, the process could get sped up. The short answer on how long the wait will be is, who really knows.

Hey, will I get to show my butt again?

2007-12-10T21:07:00.002-06:00

Brandon and I are headed back to the doctor tomorrow to get our 2nd round of immunizations against Hepatitis. I can only hope that I get to flash everyone in the doctor's office again.

Other than that, we continue to put together our paperwork for our Russian dossier. Just to give you an idea of what is included for that, here is a quick list of the major items we need:

1) A medical review form filled out by our doctor. Must have 2 original, notarized copies for each of us.
2) Two notarized copies of our doctor's license. (If you ever want to get a really inquisitive look from your doctor, tell him you need a notarized copy of his actual doctor's license. The look is priceless.)
3) Two notarized letters from my company stating my position, how long I have worked there, and my salary.
4) Two notarized letters from our CPA stating that Brandon is self-employed and how much she made last year.
5) Two notarized copies of our CPA's license.
6) Color photo copies of both our passports. (Which I thought was illegal to limit counterfeits.)
7) Certified copies of our marriage license.
8) A completed home study.
9) State police clearance letters. (Part of our background check and clearance.)
10) Pictures of every room in our home, plus the front & back. Also pictures of our immediate family and us.
11) Copies of our tax returns for the last 3 years.

The most difficult thing to get has been the notarized copy of our doctor's license (he's a part of a large practice, so they had to track it down in the corporate files). We will be going to get the ball rolling on the state police letter in the next few days, so I hope that goes easier than it sounds (see previous posts regarding USCIS).

We hope to have most of this done by the end of this month so that we can get our dossier put together, sent to the state for authentication, and then sent on to Russia to get approved. From there, the long wait for being matched to a child begins.

Assume the position

2007-11-06T22:00:00.001-06:00

So one thing I failed to mention as part of getting ready to travel to Russia, we have to get several immunizations. Two of these immunizations are the shots for Hepatitis A and B - actually I should say the SERIES of shots for them. In total, these two alone require 5 shots over a 6 month time span.

The nurse asked us if we wanted the first shot of each series in the arm or the thigh. Brandon went first and decided to get them in her arm. After seeing her wince in pain, and realizing that usually my arms ache a lot after shots, I decided on the thigh. Now before I go on, I must mention that (a) the doctor's exam room is very small, and the table is right next to the door, and (b) one of the other nurses was making some copies for us.

So the nurse in our room tells me to drop my pants, and bend over the table. After I have done this, and in the appropriate position, the other nurse (who was done making copies) decides to barge in without knocking. So there I am, with the top half of my butt being exposed not only to my wife and two nurses, but anyone who decided to walk down the hall at that moment.

I politely looked at the nurse, who was standing right next to my shoulder after entering the room with the door still wide open, and said "could you close the door? We're a little busy at the moment." Oh the joys that lie ahead of us on this great journey!

Home Study is Done

2007-10-29T15:08:00.000-05:00

This past Thursday, a representative from Gladney came to our house to conduct our home study. She was there for a little over 3 hours getting to know about us, our reasons for adopting, our family, our relationship, etc. She also had a quick tour of our home just to see the layout, what each room was used for, and to make sure that there wasn't a glaringly obvious risks associated with a child living in our home. Basically, she was looking to see if we had a swimming pool, and if we did, was there a safety fence around it or did we have plans to put in one. Or, you know, was there a wild tiger roaming free in the hallways or if we had it chained up in the garage like good pet owners.

The questions she asked were fairly simple. She interviewed both of us together and asked about we know one another is stressed, and what we loved about the other person. She also wanted to know about our hobbies and what we liked to do in our spare time. She then interviewed each one of us individually and asked about each of our parents, and wondered which one we would be more like. She also asked if there was something about our spouse that frustrated us (of course, Brandon had a hard time selecting just one.....kidding).

It was actually kind of cool because we were able to share our story of how we met, what brought us to this point in our lives, and what our goals were. The cool thing was that I realized that even if nothing about my life changed from here on out, that I am already a very blessed man to have a great wife, wonderful family, and terrific friends.

Meeting the Pediatrician

2007-10-21T21:51:00.000-05:00

Brandon and I met with a pediatrician that has experience with adopted children from Russia. We went over the list of potential ailments that we would be accepting of in our child. The list included everything from asthma and allergies to spina bifida.

It was a bit overwhelming to review the list and think about the treatments that go along with each one. But the good news is that the pediatrician was great. She helped us to determine what we would be up for, and what we thought would be too much for us to handle.

This process seems a little strange - kind of like we are filling out an order form for a child. But I guess that's just one of the differences in this process vs. having a child on your own. But the great thing about doing all of these things is that while you are filling out paperwork, meeting with doctors, or determining the next step in the process, you think that this is one step closer to what this whole thing is about: getting a child. So I guess in that way, we count ourselves lucky.

Referrals

2007-10-12T11:55:00.000-05:00

Part of the application process is to get at least 4 written referrals from the following: a friend, a family member, an employer/co-worker, and a community member/neighbor. We were simply overwhelmed by the number of people who offered to write us a referral, even before we even considered who we wanted to do the official letters. For those of you who were willing to do this, we can only say thank you and that we are so very appreciative.

We did want to specifically thank the people that we did have write referrals for us. Of course, these are in no particular order.

Michael Campbell - Many of you who read this have met Michael at some point in time. For those of you who don't know him, he has been Phil's best friend for nearly 19 years. They met the week before they started college at UTA and have been inseparable ever since. He's always making us laugh with his quick wit and comebacks, but he really is a great listener as well. Thank you Michael for being such a great friend. We know that you will make a great uncle to our child.

Larry & Mollie Mims - Larry & Mollie are Brandon's aunt & uncle (specifically, Mollie is the sister of Brandon's Dad, Lonnie). We have always had such a great time when we hang out with them, especially when it comes to Texas Aggie football games. They have also become part of one of our favorite holiday traditions, which is to go to Cleburne for the Christmas Eve candlelight service at their church, and then head to their house for great food and fun. Guys, we cannot wait for the first Christmas Eve that we bring our new baby to your home.

Lisa Vasquez - Lisa was Brandon's first boss back at her days at the Dallas Chamber of Commerce starting in 2001. Since that time, she and Roger have become such close friends, and Lisa and Brandon still get to work with one another on occasional projects with their respective lines of work. We've been part of each other's weddings, and we have even been there to see them become parents to little Petey (who is a riot). It will be so cool to be able to bring home a playmate for Petey and to watch them go crazy in your swimming pool in the years to come.

Bob Yum - Bob is our neighbor from across the street and he is also our pharmacist. I can tell you that it is SO convenient to have him hand deliver our prescriptions, or for us to drive right up the street to his store to pick them up. But more than that, Bob is such a great neighbor and friend and we are blessed to have met him. We hope that our child doesn't need his services too often, just because that means the baby will be healthy, but it's good to know that if they do, Bob is on the case.

So that's our short tribute to just some of the support our friends and family have already given us. There are many more just like them that we could thank, but I am not sure the internet has enough space for us to lay out that many well wishes.

2 More Pieces of Great News

2007-10-04T23:39:00.001-05:00

1) Brandon and I do NOT have Tuberculosis! Yep, that's right. We are living TB free! For those of you wanting the details, it's quite simple: we have to be checked out by a doctor, and then he submits a report on our health with our application. One of the tests was to see if we had TB, and I am glad to say that we are good to go.

2) Apparently, I was in the military! Another piece of info we have to submit with our application is the medical report for our pets. Not sure exactly why they need this, but I guess it's part of being thorough. So when Brandon got the reports today, I was copying them and glanced down at the names listed as owner. It has a place for Title, you know like Mr or Mrs. Well, my title was Captain. So I will now start signing my name as Captain Phil Rice, and I will expect people to salute me. Or, I may just go by Cap'n, dress up like a sailor and start posing for cereal boxes (Cap'n Crunch, for those who can't figure out who I am talking about).

Things are Clicking Along

2007-10-02T16:08:00.000-05:00

Lots of things to report this week:

1) We finally got a response from Homeland Security/Immigration Services and our case is in the pending file! We had been waiting to get word from them and finally they responded back to an e-mail Brandon sent last week to let us know that it is pending our Home Study (which will be scheduled very soon). So this lifts one concern we have had for the last 2 months or so - see previous posts for reasons why.

2) We are putting together more documents for our application, which includes a letter from my employer, a letter from our CPA (since Brandon is self-employed), reference letters, pictures of our home as well as a sketch of the layout, and copies of our birth and marriage certificates.

3) We went to the doctor yesterday to get our medical exam done. Basically they pulled 6 small tubes of blood from each of us in order to test for everything known to man, including STDs. Just in case you are wondering, I think we are both A-OK on that front. They also had to give us a shot to check for TB and we have to go back tomorrow for them to check our reaction to it. I felt so bad for Brandon because they had to stick her in 2 different places to get enough blood to test (which took a total of 20 minutes or so for her compared to 5 minutes for me - I'm a good bleeder I guess). Later that day, she had bruises on her arm and hand from the injections, and she wasn't feeling well (possibly due to the combination of a TB injection, them taking blood, and her allergies acting up). But she was a real trooper. I, on the other hand, had no problems. Funny how that works sometimes.

Next up, we have to meet with a pediatrician to find out what ailments we are willing to accept for our kiddo. We also have to determine whether we want to request a specific gender or leave it up in the air. I'll be back with details soon and let you know what we decide. I think we may already know, but I have to leave you with a cliffhanger or you may not come back to read the blog!

Well, we're waiting.....

2007-09-22T00:20:00.000-05:00

It's been 3 weeks since US CIS received our application to adopt a child, and still we have heard nothing. We should have received a receipt of some type, which would tell us that they received it, that our case is pending, and what the actual case number is.

We have called the 800 customer service number and they can only help you if you have a receipt. I am not sure if you remember this or not, but just a moment ago I mentioned that THEY HAVEN'T SENT US ONE! We sent an e-mail to their customer service address and haven't heard anything yet. I think they have e-mailed us back 3 of the 4 times we have sent e-mail to this address, but it typically takes a few days.

Unfortunately, this process would try the patience of a saint. For those of you who know me, you know that my father was a minister, but I am not a saint. Very far from it, actually. So you know the top of my head is about 3 milliseconds from completely blowing off.

All we can do at this point is continue to work on our paperwork for the adoption agency. We also have to begin putting together our documents for our dossier to be sent to the Russian government. So at least we can keep our end of the process moving, even if the wheels in the rest of the process have ground to a complete hault.

I guess I should explain all the in's and out's of the application process in one of my posts. It might give you some idea of all the hoops you have to jump through when adopting a child. I'll try to get to that in the next few days.

It's Official

2007-09-15T01:49:00.001-05:00

Today it hit us that we are really starting on an adventure to get our child. We turned in the first set of documents required for our application and paid for our initial deposit and home study. We also attended a meet & greet session at Gladney in Forth Worth. We got to meet some of the staff that will be helping us over the next few months/years, as well as hear from a panel of 6 families that have recently adopted.

It was absolutely incredible to see these families and the love they have for their children. There was at least one child from several of the countries Gladney works with: Russia, China, Ethiopia, and Guatemala. We also got to meet other couples that are ready to embark on the process like we are.

After the larger group meeting, we broke out into smaller groups based on the areas of the world we were adopting from. In this smaller group, we met a couple that is going through the process of getting their 3rd child from Russia. They were so incredibly helpful, and had plenty of stories to tell us. We exchanged information and I am sure we will be contacting them on numerous occasions to get more inside info on this whole experience.

Next up for us, we still have quite a few documents to put together to send to Gladney over the next 2 weeks. We also will probably have our home study schedule over the next month or so. Essentially, our home study consists of a social worker coming out to our house, checking out where we live, and asking us a ton of questions about ourselves and why we are adopting.

How much paperwork is involved?

2007-09-11T09:38:00.001-05:00

Late last week, we received a couple of e-mails from the folks at Gladney (our adoption agency). Both of the e-mails had paperwork that we had to fill out as well as information like travel tips, specifics about their Russia program, etc. In total, there were 8 attachments and nearly 200 pages of stuff to look through. A little overwhelming to say the least.

The good news is that they provided us with a "roadmap" so to speak. They told us what forms they need now and which ones they will need in the near future. Our application is up first, which is about 8 pages plus supporting documents. It's a lot like a loan application, because we had to provide information about how long we have lived at our current house, our employment history, our financial picture, and whether or not we had been arrested or convicted of a crime. I knew I was okay on that last one, but you never know about that Brandon!

Other items that they need from us include:
- a letter from my employer (confirming how long I have worked there and what my salary is)
- a letter from our CPA (stating how much Brandon makes since she is self-employed)
- a letter from our doctor (showing our physical and mental health, and what prescriptions we are currently taking)
- a letter from my insurance carrier (confirming that our child will be covered from the day they get placed with us, which is the day we accept the child, not the day they arrive back at home with us)
- pictures of our house and directions to it (info needed prior to the home inspection that the agency will be conducting)
- medical records of our pets (showing that they are up on all their vaccinations - I know, kind of interesting, eh?)
- names & addresses of our referrals and our parents

This isn't a complete list, but it gives you an idea of what kind of information we have to pull together. Too bad that people who have children on their own don't go through this kind of review before they are able to have kids. Maybe then we wouldn't see sad news stories about parents leaving their kids in a car when it's 110 degrees outside, or that they had their 5-year-old smoke marijuana. I know, I'm preaching to the choir here.

So while this seems like a lot of work, we are keeping our eye on the end goal. And when you think of it in that way, this is really nothing. We also are encouraged every day by friends and family, which is incredibly helpful.

Rejected, Yet Again

2007-08-29T00:05:00.000-05:00

So today marks the 4th, yes the 4TH time we have sent in the same info into stupid Homeland Security/Immigration Services. Mind you, we have not materially changed what we have been submitting, we have to keep sending it in until we get a person with more than one brain cell to realize that we have submitted literally EVERYTHING that we needed to.

The good news is that a woman who had responded back to an e-mail Brandon sent to their customer service told us that it was rejected in error, and that it was overlooked because she was out of town on vacation. This time we at least got a specific named individual to send it to rather than the generic "Special Orphan Officer" that we had been sending it to in the past.

So keep your fingers crossed and pray that they finally figure things out on their end.

On another note, I went to a Ranger game tonight and it made me realize how excited I am to be a Dad. One of the things my father and I shared was a love for the game of baseball. It's such a great game and I can't wait to instill that same love for the game into my child (boy OR girl).

Your Tax Dollars Hard at Work

2007-08-07T16:05:00.000-05:00

So today marks the THIRD time we have mailed in the exact same information to Homeland Security to get the government's paperwork started for our adoption. Between my wife and I, we have 3 college degrees, so it's not like we don't understand basic instructions. We were asked to send in the following:
1) completed I-600A application form (a page and a half long government form with basic info: name, birthdate, marriage date, etc.)
2) copies of birth certificates or passport (we sent both), marriage license, etc.
3) form giving our permission for a background check
4) money order or cashier's check for payment of fees for the application fee and fingerprinting fee (our adoption agency suggested we send in 2 separate payments, one for each fee)

We got it back the first time with a standardized checklist form that appeared to suggest we didn't include the fingerprinting fee, even though nothing was checked stating what we had missed. I guess I made the mistake of clipping them both together, and not separate and the disgruntled federal government employee didn't take note of that.

The second time we got the info back, it had a three page document attached to it. The first page had instructions for mailing for several other forms, but not the I-600A which is what we filled out. The second page was illegible (bad copy), and the third page was the same standardized checklist they had sent before and again, NOTHING WAS CHECKED!

Well during this time, we contacted their customer service 800 number and of course, the person there was less than helpful, and obviously had no clue why they returned it to us. We called again and this time, the women said that we would get something back if it was accepted and to watch my bank account, and if the check cleared, then that was another indication it was accepted. She interrupted me several times and said that I must not be understanding her. Finally, I had to talk loud enough to interrupt her and state that she must not be understanding me. First of all, we had gotten EVERYTHING back TWICE with no reason as to why they didn't accept it. And secondly, since I couldn't make the payment with a personal check, how would I know when the payment cleared even if it HAD been accepted?

So basically, we have now mailed the info back in with an even more descriptive cover letter than the first time around, but this time we mailed it to the Oklahoma City office (because apparently, that's where the Dallas office forwards it anyway). In the meantime, we are out nearly $30 in additional FedEx fees, and have had two weeks of very frustrating delays.

By the way, these are the same folks that handle all immigration paperwork, so if you ever wondered why the US has such a bad immigration problem, we might have uncovered part of the answer. Sad thing is, all the people involved in this process probably feel like they are underpaid for the great service they are providing!

Homeland Security

2007-07-30T21:49:00.000-05:00

So one of the first steps in the adoption process is sending in a form to Homeland Security, along with a fee. There are 2 potential reasons that I can think of as to why this is necessary:

1) They are so adept at counterterrorism that they can tell if a child either is, or has the propensity to become a terrorist. Amazing what the new DNA tests can tell you.
2) This is yet another way the government is able to wedge in some sort of "tax" on unsuspecting citizens.

If I had to pick, I would guess the latter vs. the former. The form and fees we sent in are actually for fingerprint checks from the FBI for us (to make sure that we don't have any skeletons in the closet, I guess), and to start the immigration paperwork for the baby.

One thing this did for us was kind of start the clock ticking. We are getting very excited about the reality of having a new addition to our family, and it now just seems like a matter of time, plus jumping through a series of hoops, to get it done. It's also hard to believe that sometime over the course of the next couple months, our child will be born without us even knowing it. Kind of crazy, huh?

Orientation Day

2007-07-26T00:46:00.000-05:00

Today we had a phone meeting with the International Adoption representative from Gladney. All in all, it went very well but we learned one very important lesson - everyone in the adoption process has got to get paid! Literally everything we do will cost us something. I sneezed on the call, and I think it cost me 50 bucks.

But on a serious note, the meeting gave us a pretty good idea of what to expect during this process and about how long it will take. The most important piece of info was that the earliest we would expect to get our baby would be late 2008. It depends a lot on how long it takes us to complete certain steps in the process, which we will get in to more detail in future posts as we find out more about them.

One other piece of news we can share is that it looks like Russia is in the lead in our Baby Olympics.

- China is overwhelmed with applications and is pretty backed up
- The Vietnam program is not accepting applications because it took on the overflow of applicants once China got backed up
- Ukraine has instituted a new restriction that only allows 2 applicants per agency per month, so that is now a long wait
- Kazakhstan.....well, it's Kazakhstan. Not sure we want our kid to see the movie Borat some day and start asking too many weird questions! But no really, on a serious note, Gladney has just recently started this program and they literally have only matched up 1 child so far with a couple. That's kind of a short track record for us.
- The one thing about Russia is that the program is still needing re-accreditation from 1 more Russian agency before it can get back on track. So Gladney does have about 20-30 families in ahead of us, but hopefully the approval comes soon and the other families get matched very quickly.

More to post later as we start filling out all the forms.

And so it begins...

2007-07-23T00:44:00.001-05:00

Many of you may be wondering what put us on the path of adopting. Well, the short version is that we haven't had any luck the old fashioned way and the thought of being medical test subjects in order to produce a child "naturally" didn't seem all that attractive to either of us.

The great thing about adopting is that there are countless children in numerous countries who need someone to give them a home, love, support, and a chance at a great life they may not otherwise get. We are very excited about the thought of one day bringing a child into our home and family. Introducing them to some of our friends, on the other hand, well....maybe we should wait a while on that! Just kidding....

We'll try to keep everyone updated on our page here as we move through this long process, and we thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.